I hate planning my wedding.
I know, fourteen-year-old me would probably punch me in the
face for saying that if she could master time-space travel and basic hand-eye
coordination. Even eighteen-year-old me would be pretty pissed. I spent too
much time ogling dresses, thinking about color combinations and, dreaming up delectable
desserts to suddenly cop out when all of these dreams can finally come true.
I think part of the reason why I hate it so much is because
many of these dreams aren’t coming true.
For example, I wanted Panera to cater my wedding. Seriously,
what’s more delicious than soup and salad and sandwiches from Panera? And
Panera was always an inexpensive lunchtime option for me. I thought, how big of
a deal could it be to have Panera for 70 people?
Answer, it’s a huge deal. It’s absurdly expensive. The
second you factor in a bunch of different types of sandwiches, and a bunch of
soups, and you have to figure out what people want, and have it shipped… I gave
up on that dream really quickly.
I always tried to think about what music there would be at
my wedding. My father-daughter dance would have to be a Beatles song, and I love
Queen. They have plenty of great dance songs. But that’s the problem: dance. I
hate dancing. Yes, I know, I went to prom and parties and had a nice time, but what
did I really enjoy? The spasmodic body wriggling or checking out everyone’s
outfits and making sure my dress was prettier than theirs?
Which brings me to another wedding issue: the dress. This is
the one thing that still might be fun for me. The thing I might actually enjoy…Until
I look at the price tag. Sure, it’s easy to say yes to the dress when you don’t
have to pay for it, but it’s so hard to rationalize $500 for a dress, then $100
for a veil, an extra $50 for shoes, $100 for hair and makeup, $300 for dress
alterations… that’s over $1000 for an outfit I’ll have on for less than a day!
What a way to start the rest of my life—a healthy mix of debt and buyer’s
remorse.
And I know I’m leaving out the most important thing. The
person I’m marrying. In all my wedding plans, I assumed the guy would just get
stuck in at the end. I figured that since he was the one I chose, he would be
completely on board with everything I had picked out.
Yeah, that turned out wrong.
I do love him, and I would like to celebrate our love with
family and friends, but he’s a stubborn hermit whose dislike of large groups of
people is matched with a loathing for dressing up and trying new foods. Oh, and
just like me, he hates dancing. I know, it’s like we’re meant for each other.
So, in the end I wound up putting a deposit on a place
because I was getting frustrated at myself for not getting started on this whole
thing. I’ve been engaged for two years now, and it’s about time I got on this.
I don’t know if there’s much of a solution to my problem
here. Maybe hire a wedding planner. Maybe elope. Or maybe put it off. I’ve been
doing that for two years. Why stop?
